Are narcissists incurable? It’s a question that man of us must ask ourselves when faced with the dilemma of having a loved one in our lives who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a question that we may not actually want the answer to, because it’s more complicated than it seems. So what is it that makes a narcissist seem so incurable? Lack of reasoning and feeling, plus the distortion of memories are all factors.
Lack of Reasoning – In order for someone to receive help and benefit from it, the person must first realize that there is a problem to be dealt with. If you think you have everything under control, you don’t need help. This is the mindset of the narcissist. They always believe that they are superior and better than everyone else, therefore, it must be everyone else who has a problem. When finally confronted with the issue at hand, they will still most likely refuse that anything is wrong, and this is because they lack reasoning. They are unable to see past their own ego and look at the logic of everything before them.
Lack of Feeling – Secondly, narcissists lack a lot of feelings. Even if they are able to realize that they are the problem, they probably won’t feel any guilt or remorse for it. They don’t care that they are causing problems for other people because the narcissist isn’t the one getting hurt. They don’t feel empathy for others, and this issue alone can stop them from ever being cured.
Distorted Memories – Thirdly, narcissists can have distorted memories. This means that their memory can be changed in their mind so that it was them that was victimized. The narcissist always thinks of themselves, so much so that they begin to distort the memory in their mind to make it seem as though it was actually the other person who was attacking them instead. This is also due, in part, to their lack of the ability to properly reason. This is a serious thing because it can, in the narcissist’s mind, reinforce the idea that the narcissist did nothing wrong. They truly believe they are innocent in all matters because that is what their memory tells them. How can a narcissist begin to get help for what they have done if they don’t even remember what happened? The narcissist will think “What? I didn’t really say that. I would have remembered it if I had.” But their memory has blocked out the bad parts about themselves so that they can continue on living in a distorted bliss and hurting everyone in their path.
These are the qualities of the narcissist that make them seem completely incurable. In order for them to make the much needed changes, they will have to face these facts and come to terms with them. In order to do that, they will need to have a deep trust in the people that are willing to help them, if the narcissist can ever accept that they need help.