Dealing with Trauma Anniversaries

Valentine’s Day was just this past week, and while this day was filled with love and romance for many, it was filled with heartache and suffering for others. Valentine’s Day, just like any holiday or anniversary, can be a hard thing to go through, especially if you have PTSD.

 

Anniversaries are usually seen as a positive thing, something you look forward to and plan for. You celebrate the anniversary of your relationship or wedding, and even birthdays. But some anniversaries aren’t quite so cheery. It can be difficult when you lose a loved one, break off a serious relationship, or experience any sort of traumatic event, and PTSD can be the result of these things. The event itself can be hard enough, but when the anniversary date for it rolls around, you might find yourself experiencing the struggle all over again.

 

Oftentimes, the anniversary of the traumatic event can cause your PTSD to really flare up. Depression, guilt, and shame might begin to set in as you think about the event. Triggers that you thought you had overcome now take hold of you once again, and you begin to experience flashbacks and panic attacks.

 

If it’s been long enough since the traumatic event, you’ll begin to notice these anniversary patterns and you might start avoiding certain places, people, and any other triggers related to the event. Before the anniversary even arrives, you might feel nervous and on edge as you dread the upcoming day.

 

Anniversaries of traumatic events are definitely no fun so it might help to be prepared for when the day comes. The right way to approach the trauma-related anniversary truly depends on the person and what the trauma is. For some, they feel closure and relief by doing something in honor of the event. This could be visiting the grave of someone they lost, donating or volunteering to help disaster relief, or simply taking a few moments of silence.

 

For others, like rape victims, for example, the best thing to do is avoid thinking about the event and try to completely distract themselves. This is where planning ahead is really important. Maybe plan for a fun day with family or friends, spend the day out in town, go to a movie, or do anything that you know will keep your mind busy.

 

If you’re unsure of how to handle the upcoming dreaded day, then talk to your therapist. They are trained to know how to handle these situations, and, being your therapist, they should know what way of coping should work best for you. Your therapist is there to help you in any way that they can.

 

The anniversary date of your traumatic event might feel like it lasts forever, but that day will soon pass too. Sometimes though, the feelings that arise from the anniversary can last up to a few weeks, and that’s okay. Take all the time you need to process and cope with the event, and know that it does get better from here on out. Healing from PTSD is possible.

 

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Are Narcissists Incurable?

Are narcissists incurable? It’s a question that man of us must ask ourselves when faced with the dilemma of having a loved one in our lives who suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s a question that we may not actually want the answer to, because it’s more complicated than it seems. So what is it that makes a narcissist seem so incurable? Lack of reasoning and feeling, plus the distortion of memories are all factors.

 

Lack of Reasoning – In order for someone to receive help and benefit from it, the person must first realize that there is a problem to be dealt with. If you think you have everything under control, you don’t need help. This is the mindset of the narcissist. They always believe that they are superior and better than everyone else, therefore, it must be everyone else who has a problem. When finally confronted with the issue at hand, they will still most likely refuse that anything is wrong, and this is because they lack reasoning. They are unable to see past their own ego and look at the logic of everything before them.

 

Lack of Feeling – Secondly, narcissists lack a lot of feelings. Even if they are able to realize that they are the problem, they probably won’t feel any guilt or remorse for it. They don’t care that they are causing problems for other people because the narcissist isn’t the one getting hurt. They don’t feel empathy for others, and this issue alone can stop them from ever being cured.

 

Distorted Memories – Thirdly, narcissists can have distorted memories. This means that their memory can be changed in their mind so that it was them that was victimized. The narcissist always thinks of themselves, so much so that they begin to distort the memory in their mind to make it seem as though it was actually the other person who was attacking them instead. This is also due, in part, to their lack of the ability to properly reason. This is a serious thing because it can, in the narcissist’s mind, reinforce the idea that the narcissist did nothing wrong. They truly believe they are innocent in all matters because that is what their memory tells them. How can a narcissist begin to get help for what they have done if they don’t even remember what happened? The narcissist will think “What? I didn’t really say that. I would have remembered it if I had.” But their memory has blocked out the bad parts about themselves so that they can continue on living in a distorted bliss and hurting everyone in their path.

 

These are the qualities of the narcissist that make them seem completely incurable. In order for them to make the much needed changes, they will have to face these facts and come to terms with them. In order to do that, they will need to have a deep trust in the people that are willing to help them, if the narcissist can ever accept that they need help.

Unspoken Symptoms Of PTSD: Extreme Reactions to Memories

PTSD is usually caused by a very traumatic event in a person’s life, but sometimes it seems as though dealing with the PTSD afterward is worse than the actual event itself. One of the common side effects of PTSD is flashbacks. This is where the sufferer begins to remember the event vividly as if completely reliving the situation all over again. Even for those that don’t have PTSD, they know that those that do can suffer from flashbacks.

 

But sometimes, it’s not just flashbacks that they have to deal with. Those with PTSD can have extreme reactions to anything that reminds them of the terrible event, and these reactions include more than just the common flashbacks.

 

Extreme reactions can include but are not limited to fast heart rate, hyperventilating, nausea, tension, stress, vomiting, and sweating. That’s a lot for a person to have to deal with on a regular basis, and if not dealt with properly, these extreme reactions can also turn into intense flashbacks.

 

The best thing to do is to try to avoid things that you know are trigger points for you. You should also seek out therapy to learn healthy coping mechanisms and learn to eventually overcome your fears.

 

If you know someone with PTSD, try to learn their trigger points and make an effort to not bring them up around that person. If you find yourself in a situation where they begin showing extreme reactions, just stay calm and try to give them your full support.

Is PTSD Affecting Your Memory?

Do you often find it hard to remember simple, everyday things such as whether or not you brushed your teeth, or why you just walked into a different room? If so, it could be another symptom of your PTSD. Studies show that when you suffer from PTSD, the hippocampus – the region of your brain that is responsible for emotions and memory – is damaged, and can even shrink in volume up to 8%. So what can you do to help with the short term memory loss of day to day life? There are a few options.

 

Take Medication

Studies have shown that SSRI’s (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) are good for more than just fighting depression. They can also improve memory skills. So if you’re taking an SSRI for PTSD, it will likely help decrease the short term memory loss that comes with it.

 

Reduce Environmental Stress

You can’t heal from a stress-related disorder if you never get a break from it. Remove yourself from the toxic environment, and it might help you to be able to think straight once again.

 

Practice Organization

If your thoughts are all over the place, write them down so you can make some sense of them. This way, you won’t have to rely on your memory so much, and you can trust what you have written down. Plus, studies show that the action of writing things down helps you to remember it.

 

Stay Away From Distractions

When you go to complete a task, try to do it with as little distractions as possible. If you’re going to get something from a room, be thinking about where it is so you’re prepared when you get there. If you’re cleaning or working, try turning off the electronics.

 

There are a variety of ways to help you with your short term memory loss. And as long as you stay positive through the whole process, things are bound to get better with time.