3 Positive Affirmations to Get You Through Each Day

Life can get pretty hard sometimes, and while you can’t always change the events that occur in your life, you can change the way that you handle them. It’s a well-known fact that thinking more positively can actually improve your mood and even your mental health! With daily affirmations, you can rewire your brain, training yourself to think more positive, adding overall improvement your life just with your focused thoughts. Repeating positive affirmations to yourself can even help fight issues such as depression and anxiety, so I’m going to give you 3 positive affirmations to help you get through each day!

 

  1. Today is going to be a great day!

This is a great affirmation to start the day out with. When getting ready, smile at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that yes, no matter what gets thrown your way, today is going to be a great day. You get to decide how your day goes and you are deciding that it will go great!

 

  1. I can accomplish anything!

Everyone is faced with doubt at some point or another in their lives. Who doesn’t have a few doubts every now and then? But the key thing to remember is to not let those negative thoughts get to you. Brush them aside and replace them with positive affirmations instead! Don’t let yourself start thinking “I can’t do this” or “I can’t take anymore.” Turn those thoughts around immediately and tell yourself that you can do it and you can accomplish anything. That goes for things like getting out of bed, as well as things like working towards your career goals. This affirmation works for just about anything you want or need to do.

 

  1. I am enough.

There are going to be times that you feel hopeless and worthless. But you are enough. While it’s great to have big goals and try to achieve them, sometimes we all need a break. Don’t feel bad for taking a day off every now and then, and don’t let yourself start thinking that you’re not good enough for something or someone. Whenever you feel those negative thoughts creeping up again, stop them in their tracks by reminding yourself that you are enough right where you are and just as you are.

 

Feel free to also come up with your own affirmations to get you through each day. If you struggle with self-confidence, maybe try something along the lines of “I am beautiful just the way I am,” or whatever you feel works for you! If you just went through a break-up, consider telling yourself “I am strong, independent, and deserving of love.” The key is to choose affirmations that you feel are the best for you.

 

Just keep thinking positively and reminding yourself that you’ve got this! Having the right mindset will open up so many more great opportunities for you and even help you get through all of the bad stuff. Soon, you’ll be on your way to feeling better and accomplishing more than you ever imagined!

How to Identify and Stop a Narcissist BEFORE They Trap You

If you’ve just gotten out of an abusive relationship with a narcissist, it can be hard to begin dating again, for fear that you might end up in yet another abusive relationship. What if you find yourself repeating the same patterns and being with a narcissist once again? After all, if you were with a narcissist before, you might have just the right personality that attracts them. They thrive off of those that they can take advantage of and control. They like those that are all too giving and completely willing to put others first.

 

So here are a few things that you can do to avoid repeating those mistakes:

 

Choose Your Relationships Wisely

Don’t let yourself fall head over heels for someone without feeling them out first. Keep your distance when beginning new relationships, and really try to measure out their words against their actions. If they stay true to their words, there shouldn’t be much to worry about. But if they are constantly making empty promises, that could certainly be a red flag. If they seem to always be in competition with you to try to get the upper hand instead of accepting you as their equal, that is another big warning sign.

 

Expect Failures and Disappointments

This might sound a little harsh at first, but you should never let yourself get your hopes up with someone who you suspect is a narcissist. Don’t let yourself get sucked into their persuasive words and charm. Doing so only gives them more power over your emotions and well-being. Instead, have a backup plan for when they don’t follow through on their word.

 

Avoid Trying to  “Fix” Them

A narcissist can’t be helped, especially if they don’t want to be. They can even thrive off of the arguing and frustration that it can bring out in you when you find that you can’t save them. They know that in this way, they can get under your skin, and that gives them even more power. Instead, the best thing to do is to keep your distance, maintain your own personal boundaries, and even cut them loose completely.

 

Practice Mindful and Effective Communication

Good communication can go a long way in solving many problems. Most narcissists are likely acting from their wounds, and having an understanding of this could help you in how you deal with them. Regardless though, you must be assertive and not give them any opportunities to run you over. Learning to say no is very important, and if a narcissist does not respect your answers or wishes, let them know that there will be consequences, and follow through on them.

 

Narcissists are not fun people to have in your relationship circle, but sometimes it’s hard to not fall for their tricks. Luckily, there are ways to identify a narcissist before they are able trap you. Keeping a good distance from those you’re unsure about, expecting failures, maintaining boundaries, and practicing good, solid communication are all great ways to help avoid being sucked in by another narcissist.

Why Narcissists Recycle Their Partners

As we’ve discussed before in another blog, narcissists are individuals who lack empathy and who think that the world should and does revolve around them.  So when you find yourself involved in a relationship with a narcissist, you can be sure that you will end up having to deal with very selfish treatment.

 

One common way narcissists act to feed their own self-centered needs is through partner recycling. You may have already experienced this behavior – the narcissist, who needs attention and excitement, decides that you aren’t good enough anymore, so they leave and find someone new. But then after a period of time, they become bored with their new partner so they begin calling you and wanting to make things work again. This recycling of old partners is something that many narcissists do, and for good reason.

 

Narcissists need everything to be about them and they lack even basic empathy and understanding of other people’s feelings.  Yet, even though narcissists believe they are the center of the universe and deserve only the best, they are also very insecure and afraid that they will fail and not be given the attention they need.

 

When these elements come together –  no empathy or concern about other people and personal insecurity – it creates a situation where the narcissist may cope by building a safety net. They are able to get the newness, excitement, and attention of beginning a new relationship, but they also have a person or people that they know are waiting on them and will feed their ego when they need it.  Out of this, many narcissists create a stable of lovers that they rotate through, recycling relationships as they become bored or need more attention.

 

If you’ve been in a relationship with a narcissist and find them coming back again, the best thing you can do is refuse them.  They haven’t “come to their senses” and realized how amazing you are. They are feeding their own ego by seeing how badly they can treat you and still have you there ready to forgive them and take them back.  Don’t let yourself get stuck in this unhealthy cycle. Set good boundaries and don’t be afraid to walk away.

EMDR and Overcoming PTSD

Treatment for PTSD and the effects of trauma can be tricky. Most of the therapy and medications available are designed to help you cope with the symptoms of PTSD, but they don’t really address the root of it.  

 

When you have lived through violence and trauma, it changes your brain. You are haunted by the memories and your body and mind prepare itself for more trauma and violence.  This creates the anxiety, sleep troubles, irritability, and other symptoms that go along with PTSD. While treating those symptoms can be life saving for some people, and help others live a more normal life, we shouldn’t neglect treating the underlying memories.

 

But how do you treat a memory?  

 

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR, is a clinically proven method for processing and reforging your memories to help you deal with PTSD. It’s so powerful, that 100% of single trauma sufferers and 77% of multiple trauma sufferers were no longer diagnosed with PTSD after just 6 sessions! And even 77% of combat soldiers were no longer diagnosed with PTSD after 12 sessions. That’s powerful stuff!

 

So exactly is what is EMDR?

 

Basically, EMDR uses the patient’s rapid rhythmic eye movement to dampen the memories connected with the trauma.  The eye movement is believed to tap into the same brain processes as dreams and allows the brain to rewire itself.  

 

The steps involved can be daunting, but the end result can cure you of your PTSD. First, the trauma is visualized and brought to the surface and all negative emotions around it are identified and processed.  Once this is done, those negative emotions are replaced by positive ones. For example, a rape victim may work on replacing feelings of fear and disgust with a feeling of empowerment and the idea that “I am strong and I survived.”  This process isn’t instant and takes several sessions, but for most people, EMDR can be the end of their PTSD.

PTSD and Alcohol

When you have PTSD, anxiety and depression are your constant companions.  The pain of life altering trauma can stay with you, day in and day out, making it hard to function and live in a normal way.  Everyone in this situation can become desperate for some relief.  There are many healthy ways to help yourself cope with this disease.

Unfortunately, some are so desperate to end the pain, they turn to alcohol to self medicate and numb themselves. While, to some, this may feel like their only option, the reality is that alcohol doesn’t just not make things better – it actually makes things a lot worse.

Alcohol is a depressant, a downer. Rather than helping you recover from the PTSD, it can actually trigger more symptoms. Alcohol can increase the anger, irritability, depression, lashing out – some of the aspects of PTSD that cause trauma survivors to push away and lose many of their social supports right when they need them the most.

If you feel that you have become reliant on alcohol to mask your PTSD, there is still help!  Therapeutic and holistic approaches to alcohol recovery and PTSD treatment have great results. Some treatment options you may want to look into are:

  • Group counseling
  • Alcoholics Anonymous
  • Meditation and yoga
  • Equine or other animal therapy
  • Art or music therapy

Of course, these are just supports that you can use to help you in your recovery.  Anyone suffering from PTSD, especially if they are also using alcohol, should be in regular therapy with a licensed counselor and may want to talk to a psychiatrist to see if there are medications that may be able to help. Don’t self medicate!  There is help out there for you!