PTSD In Partnerships

Dealing with PTSD can be really difficult, but not just for the one with the diagnosis. If one person has it, it can cause friends and family to struggle too – just in a different way. If you are dating someone who has PTSD, you know that it can cause some tension in the relationship. This is especially true for people who suffer from Complex PTSD.


Complex PTSD (C-PTSD)  is very similar to normal PTSD, except the victim is unable to escape the stressful environment that is causing it. With time, people that suffer from normal PTSD can learn to cope with the event in the past and overcome the fears that arose from it. But with C-PTSD, there is no break from the event to give the sufferer any relief or time to heal.


Your partner having PTSD could be something you’re just now finding out about as you go further into the relationship. This can be upsetting and hard to deal with, especially if you feel that it is something that they have tried to keep from you. But remember that them admitting their weaknesses to you is a big sign of trust from them, regardless of how long it took them to come to you about it. For those that suffer from PTSD, problems like trust issues, anxiety, and paranoia are all part of the disorder, so the thing that they need most from you is your loving support and understanding.


The PTSD diagnosis could have also been given to your significant other during your relationship. If this is the case, remember that this is all scary, if not scarier, news for the sufferer than it is for you. Go to them with open arms, but also remember to give them the space they need too.


PTSD can be the root cause of many relationship problems, as it can make the sufferer feel less understood, which can fuel unnecessary arguments. Many PTSD sufferers also experience emotional outbursts, as they are unable to keep their emotions in check. Sometimes, these bursts are taken out on the person nearest to them. That person tends to be their significant other, which can cause even more fights. More fights can mean more time apart and even isolation from each other, causing a downfall in the relationship.


At least with normal PTSD, there is some hope that by getting proper treatment, the relationship can be restored and the two of you can go back to being normal and happy again. But when your partner suffers from C-PTSD, it can feel as though there isn’t an end in sight. Your partner likely feels hopeless and worthless, and understanding this can go a long way in keeping a relationship alive. Try to practice open communication, and always be there to offer support and motivation. Encourage them to seek help, and maybe even try couple’s therapy if you feel that things are just getting to be too much. Remind them that the pain is only temporary, and whatever is causing their C-PTSD is bound to be put to an end eventually.

The New Jersey Fire Massacre – How Holiday Stress Can Easily Get Out Of Hand

The holidays can be a stressful time of the year – you have finances, gift-buying, traveling, and family relationships to worry about. There’s a lot going on, and it can be difficult to get through. But you don’t expect people to fly off the handle and go on a killing spree.

Unfortunately, that seemed to be the case for the Caneiro Family, in New Jersey. Paul and Keith Caneiro were close brothers. They kept a close relationship, worked together, and even lived close by to each other. Being only 11 miles apart they could rely on each other for anything. But just two days before Thanksgiving, Paul murdered Keith and his entire family, then set the whole house on fire to cover it up. If that weren’t bad enough, he then went and set his own house on fire with his family in it to try to show that someone else had targeted and was out to get the Caneiro family.

This tragic event will leave survivors and bystanders struggling with PTSD, and you might ask yourself why someone would do something like this. But when we step back and look at the bigger picture, it reveals a struggle that’s much deeper than what we can see. The Caneiro brothers worked together, which leads us to believe that the reason behind this horrendous crime could have been related to financial stress and blame towards Keith. It was also right before the holidays, adding even more stress to the situation. Paul was unable to express or control his emotions and struggles, and ultimately, it got the best of him.

While a massacre like this is rare, struggling with day to day life isn’t, and there can be consequences when we don’t face what’s in front of us. As the holidays get closer, know that you’re not the only one having problems. It’s a difficult time of the year, but you’re not alone in it. While most people don’t actually desire to kill their loved ones, they can still get frustrated or irritated, and acting on those feelings can always make matters worse. So before you say something you’re going to regret, take a deep breath, recognize what you’re struggling with, and try to openly communicate it.

If you do lash out and snap at a loved one, don’t try to make up excuses or pretend it didn’t happen. When Paul tried to cover up what he had done, he made things so much worse by catching fire to everything around him, hurting even more people in the process, and earning him life in prison. Don’t let this happen to you. If you do or say something you didn’t mean, apologize and make sure you don’t do it again.

While it may seem like there is no end in sight for stressful situations, how you deal with them can make a huge difference. Don’t let the stress get the best of you during this holiday season. Acknowledge what you think and feel, and practice open communication. It’ll make all the difference.

Cam Newton – How Even The Toughest People Can Struggle

People tend to think of PTSD as a soldier’s problem. That it takes the horrors of war to induce post traumatic stress.  But the fact is that anyone who deals with trauma and violence can suffer. Many people who have been the victims of domestic violence suffer from the long term mental trauma, often without realizing it and without getting any help. They often feel embarrassed that they “can’t deal with it themselves” or “are crazy enough to need a shrink.”  But that’s not true. The effects of violence are real and the treatment for it is real too. No matter how big you are or how tough you are, violence can take its toll.

If you don’t believe me then just take a look at the biggest and toughest guys around. The NFL has recently changed its policies about dealing with unnecessary roughness and the potentially serious injuries that some types of attacks can cause on the field. This type of dirty football has had a negative impact on the players – not just physically, but mentally.  

You don’t get much bigger or tougher than Cam Newton, the 2015 MVP Quarterback for the Carolina Panthers, who took the world by storm – and his team to the Super Bowl – when he hit the stage a few years back. Cam is one of the most athletic quarterbacks in the NFL. He is known for an aggressive style of play that takes him away from the protection that shields most quarterbacks and sees him running the ball down the field every time he sees an opportunity.

Cam’s style has made him famous. But it’s also left him vulnerable to a lot of hits and trauma on the field. Defensive players on the other teams struggled to contain him and his athleticism.  Some decided that the only way to stop him was to play a little dirty. Cam suffered from illegal hits to the helmet and knees, which didn’t just cost them points on the field, they put his body and brain in serious danger.

While Cam has never said anything about PTSD, the effects of this type of violence took its toll.  He complained publicly about the issue and demanded a meeting with the commissioners of the NFL. Most tellingly, he talked about how his dream job, that he’d worked his whole life for, was no longer a positive thing in his life. The fun had gone out and it, and it had become a stressful thing for him to face.

Those words, that type of description, probably sounds very familiar to people who have suffered trauma. When you face an attack, when you’ve had someone deliberately try to hurt you, it causes mental and emotional stress. That’s one of the reasons that the NFL listened to Cam and tightened the rules on these types of infractions. This is serious business.

Many people who have suffered from trauma and violence think they have to deal with it on their own. They feel that getting help is embarrassing or shows weakness. But if a star NFL quarterback – big, strong, athletic – can reach out and get help for the stress and anxiety he feels after being attacked on the field, then it should be clear that anyone who has faced trauma and violence can and should seek help without any embarrassment. You can and should seek help without any embarrassment.